July 2008
9 posts
Two Left Feet
After some late night research,
I have come to the conclusion
that putting your left leg in,
your left leg out, in out, in out,
shaking it all about, doing the Hokey Cokey
and turning around; is actually not
what it’s all about it.
Lost & Found & Lost
When I got home last night, I found that somebody had taped a ‘missing-pet’ flyer to my front door. Not earth-shattering news I realize; for sadly these days they are fairly common place. This one was a little different though, it was for a lost turtle. The flyer explained that “Turdy” had been missing for a couple of days and the owners were desperate to find him. Most of the flyer,...
Food for Thought
I wonder what would happen if a shepherd ate the ploughman’s lunch and the ploughman ate the shepherd’s pie?
Clever Trevor
On a balmy night recently, outside my local watering hole, my friend Clive told us all a fantastic tale that culminated with him being arrested for drunk-driving a rental car up the fairway of a golf course. Brilliant stuff: but he should tell it not me. His story reminded me of a joke that I had recently heard and somehow remembered.
In my childhood, jokes were daily and always topical. The...
Things I Regret
When I was nine years old, my friend Andy Wilson, asked if I would eat poo for ten million pounds. I said no.
Incidental thought
Would the police have to create another incident room, if there was an incident in the incident room?
Bumps in the night
Walking home last night with Claire, we ran into two shadowy chaps who were obviously just a little worse for wear. Claire knew both of them and had apparently told them earlier that night she was going to the Batman film premiere party and therefore couldn’t meet them. As she focused an explanation on one of the guys, she left me to deal with the other one. Not knowing what to say or even talk...
The Case of the Dreadful Creature
My friend Charlie, when suitably loaded, refers to fools and occasionally everyone else as ‘dreadful creatures’. My own nature being as it is, I often find it hard to disagree with him.
Of course with the current dystopian migration of vacuous half-wits that have taken over the city, I rather encourage it.
For example, a group of us maybe sharing a bottle of wine and good humor when...
Pills anonymous?
The other day, I overheard a know-nothing know-it-all saying he liked to use Vicodin to ‘take the edge off’. Surely, to take the edge off, I wondered, you must have an edge to begin with?